sleep

I mean, it’s a strange feeling to miss something so taken for granted. We all sleep. And we all spend hours of meaningless time watching Netflix or play our ukuleles, we read fictional tales or study the topics of our current interest. We go to the gym or ignore going to the gym completely.

But only after you go to sleep. When you sleep, all your sins are washed away. Did you draw on the floor today instead of your colouring book? Did you throw your penguins on the floor so they cracked open? Did you make a fuss about dressing or undressing? Did you refuse to eat your breakfast or dinner? Yes you probably did. But then, when I picked you up, you wrapped your hands around my neck so hard, the way you just learned how to. And I asked you to do it again, because mommy loves it when you do that. And you did. Then I said to prepare for brushing your teeth, and you ran to the sink for the first time, and what did I ever do to deserve such a child?

I watch you sleep on the monitor, bundled up in your favourite blanket that grandma let you take home with you, and you look so peaceful. I could probably use some more sleep, but watching you seems important somehow.