spring
Did you even know it could be spring here? I think I’ve imagined it a few times, but never really envisioned it, which sounds curious but is the truth.
I look up at the tall tall trees, now featuring a canopy of leaves like a makeshift roof above us. I wonder if we’re ever here together anymore.
I sit and feel the grass between my fingers, the way it sticks slightly and tears at my skin without leaving any traces of it. Still not a day goes by without a visit.
are you ten years ago?
“Sometimes it’s as if I can summon you with my thoughts.”
A classic double take, it’s such a cliché that it doesn’t even sound like the truth.
Or puzzling hesitation because you could feel yourself spiraling out of control. I’m sure that’s been interpreted the wrong way over and over. The endless moments of almost, like standing too close, like our legs touching when we sat, like your arm brushing against mine as you lost your balance walking home, like a hug lasting for too long. Like overthinking.
Like goodbyes for an hour. Or maybe forgetting the goodbye. Like comfortable silence, but speaking without words. Or regretting coming over, or regretting leaving. That stupid smile that you can’t wipe off your face, or the tears you can’t seem to stop. Words you can’t say, or can’t swallow.
Perhaps chasing, or running. Sometimes hiding. Those times giving in.
Replay, rewind, repeat. Set to loop.
It’s a rare luxury to have been unable to fall out of love again.