dick move
Do you remember the time we went to McDonalds in that large square of the beginning of the street we called home? It was one of the only luxuries we could afford, except that posh burrito-place that accepted offline payments, placing our young credit cards in the strange contraption that would copy its details and finish it off with a wobbly signature.
Anyway, there we were, our Big Mac menus carefully presented before us as we decided this was a great venue for our game of dares. On our left was a table of three, one of the guests speaking loudly in a shrill voice and to our right a father with his young boy filled with joy as he opened his Happy Meal and discovered the crappy plastic surprise within. As ever, you were annoyed by the loudness of the table to our left and pulled the ring from your finger. “You have to go over there and tell her that your cancer is scraping your brain.” you said. I looked at you in disbelief. It was such a dick move, and it didn’t even make any sense. But this was the nature of our game. I took the ring and placed it on my finger. “Well shit.” I said and womanned up.
I got up a few minutes later and walked over to the table next to us. “Excuse me, but would you please try to keep it down? You see, my cancer is scraping and it’s hurting my brain.” I say apologetically. The woman with the shrill voice looks up at me with such concern I immediately feel horrendous. “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!” she says, with her hands against her cheeks. Only now do I notice that she’s clearly disabled. She takes my statement incredibly serious and looks horrified by what she has done to me. “Uhm, it’s alright, I’ll be fine, I just need some quiet.” I say and trot back to my table. As I sit down, I can see the woman, now whispering to her friends, still horrified. They shoot me a look of absolute disgust. I look over to my right, and the father and son are equally shook by my actions. Jesus.
As wrong as it is, you still look at me like you’ve never been this amused in your life, and as wrong as it is I can’t help but laugh. I’ve never been more embarrassed by my own self.
